I Ain't Got No Alibi.....

I took a picture yesterday of two of my friends. The way they just settled into each other, immediately positioning themselves in flattering poses in a manner of a millisecond caught my attention. 
I was envious of them. 
It takes me at least a minute to get into a pose where I hope it turns out half decent. Is my head cocked enough? Do I have my jaw stuck out enough so I'm not giving myself a double chin? Are my arms and legs at an angle that provides a more slimmer appearance? And how the hell are these women standing cross legged without shaking so much they look fuzzy in the picture? Lets not even get started on the ones who do it on their tippy toes. 
We all have those times in our life (or at least I hope it's not just me!) where we just feel....junk about ourselves. My hair is laying too flat, my curls won't hold shape, why can't I have waves like that girl? Old pictures I thought were cute suddenly aren't today.... the list just goes on and on. I've been feeling that way the past day or so. 
I hate those moments. I try to think about the days when I'm feeling great about myself, try to conjure up the happiness I felt. On those days I'll even stop and say to myself "capture this moment, remember how it feels for when the bad days settle in". It rarely works.
When I hit that wall there is nothing I can do but stare at it and feel miserable and I tell myself "you're just gonna have to ride this out". It sucks and it's no fun but what other choice is there but to keep going? Maybe avoid mirrors for the day, avoid social media for the inevitable comparison I'm going to put myself through, and just keep going. 
It's something I learned when dealing with my depression and anxiety 10 years ago (the tools of which I'm so glad remember because lordy I have been using them during all this pandemic craziness), is that sometimes I just have to let it go. If I can't avoid a trigger then I silently affirm to myself that this isn't permanent, just get through this and tomorrow is a new day. 
Just like every day can't be a  good day, the bad days won't stay around forever either.