What if Magic Eye was the Entry Exam to Hogwarts?

Much to my delight, I've got several new readers gracing me with their presence. Hello new friends! 

I thought today it would be good to post a few more tidbits about myself that extends beyond my "About Me" page. 

For example, Dave and I play "The Price is Right" at the grocery store. Meaning that when we check out we both guess how much the bill will be. Whoever gets the closest without going over wins. There isn't a prize or anything its more about the bragging rights, but it is fun when the cashiers get involved, which most of them do because Dave and I trash talk each other the whole time (all in good sport though!). It's a fun way to break up the monotony of checking out at the grocery store. 

Just replace "the contestant" with Dave and you got me when I win

I can't stand Dave Matthews Band. I'm sorry if you're a fan, because then I have to question your taste in music, but I'll let it slide if you will. I can't explain why I hate them so much, there was even one point where I did like them in high school for about a month. But now the minute they come on the radio I have to change the channel. There's even someone who lives a street away from me with "1 DMB FAN" for their license plate and every time I see it want to ram their car. Okay maybe not that bad, but the idea has crossed my mind. 

Source

Since I made fun of you for liking DMB you can make fun of me for this: I love Phil Collins. He was my first concert, I've loved him since I knew what music was. But even I don't freaking know what a ssuu-ssuu-sussudio is. 

#Truth

I order my hot drinks at kids temp. Also, I have no idea what a latte or cappuccino is, no matter how many times a friend explains it to me. Tea and hot chocolate for me, please! I order the drinks at kids temp because I'm impatient and I like to drink my stuff right away, rather than burning the crap out of my mouth, I'll ask for the cooler temps. 

I am completely incapable of seeing the hidden image in the Magic Eye images. I've never been able to do it. Ever. Also, if it was the entry exam to Hogwarts (as per my title), I would have clearly failed. 

And there you have it, some more random facts about me. Do you relate to any of these? 

Dancing with Duck Lips

I've been on a memoir kick lately. They're normally quick reads for me that give me a "sneak peek" into a celebrity's life. My favorite memoirs have to be the ones by Chelsea Handler. 

Anyway, I was inspired by the run of memoirs I've read to brainstorm what the chapters of my own memoir would be called. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the chapter headings of "Dancing with Ducklips and other insights", look for it at your local Barnes and Noble never. 

Chapter 1 // If your mother didn't pass out from your big head entering this world at least once, you haven't done it right. Go back and do it again. 

Chapter 2 // Greasy hands and dirty fingernails aren't as sexy as I once thought, but it made me a hard worker.

Chapter 3 // I don't care how intelligent or level headed you are as a teenager, your first boyfriend is going to make you stupid. 

Chapter 4 // Hemorrhoids aren't the only thing in life that will be a pain in your ass. 

Chapter 5 // How to plan your life out perfectly--and then watch your plans fail miserably.

Chapter 6 // You know love isn't like the movies, well neither is friendship. 

Chapter 7 // Treat yourself as you would treat your friends.

Chapter 8 // Romance isn't flowers and candles, it's when he stays by your side when you hop on the crazy train and get on the first class psycho bitch cart. 

Chapter 9 // Dancing with duck lips, perfect "The Lawn Mower" on the dance floor,  and why Night at the Roxbury is the worlds best dance instruction video.

Fin. 

aka The End.