"Drive"- Part II

If you need to catch up, you can read Part I here, or scroll to the bottom of this post and get the whole story in one shot. 

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I hear my phone ring, but I don’t bother answering it. I told everyone this was my day off and that I was taking a break from everyone and everything. There is only one person who would ignore my request and that was Alyssa. “She’s probably going to rope you into something for her wedding that she could do on her own or with her fiancé,” I think to myself. I shut my phone off and go back to reading, happy that I finally did something for myself. I finished reading my book and a few hours later realized I had read right through breakfast and now I was starving.

I decided to walk to the local café. As much as I hated driving in my little college town, I loved being able to just walk out my door to delicious, fresh market food. It helped that the hipsters moved in and took an interest in being the next big thing in town.

I pull open the door to the little café and smell all the delicious goods that had just been baked this morning. I grab a bagel and sit down to eat and watch the people walk by the window. 

Then he walked in.

Tall with broad shoulders, his dark hair hidden by a beanie worn to keep his head warm, his eyes swept the room and locked with mine. I never understood what it meant when someone said eyes were the window to someone’s soul until I looked into his. They were hazel and kind. His eyes were the kindest eyes I had ever seen, and made the world stop. Everything slid away and disappeared and all that I saw were him and his eyes.

“Now who’s being cliché?” Pete chuckled.

I snap back to reality and look away, blushing, wondering how long I had stared for. It didn’t matter because he was walking right up to me.

“Hi, I’m Zach,” he said. “Would you mind if I sat with you? The café seems full and you have an extra chair.”

“Um, we’re the only ones here right now.”

Zach looked down and smiled. “You caught me, how about this, I really like to people watch at this table and it’s something I like to do every day.”

“That’s a better excuse,” I reply. “Help yourself.”

We talked for hours, he talked about how he loved to draw and really wanted to be an artist, I told him I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I “grew up” but that it wasn’t what I was doing now. By the time we parted ways, I knew he was the one.

Suddenly everything sped up, Pete came back into view and explained, “I’m highlighting here for you” and then slowed down to a new scene.

I’m running out of a bathroom waving something, screaming “Zach! Zach, you have to get up here!” Zach comes running up the steps and cries out, “What, what is it?” I leap into his arms and scream “You’re gonna be a daddy!”

My arms shift into the clouds a little deeper. I feel my stomach drop and Peter looks over at me, “have you had enough torture yet?”

“Keep going Pete, I need to see how this ends.”

The next scene cuts in and I see Zach holding me, rocking me as we both cry into each other’s shoulders. There is a mural on the wall behind us, it’s something Zach has been painting in an empty room and looks like the beginning of a jungle.

“It’ll be okay, Katie. We’ll figure out what went wrong and make it better. I promise.”

“It’s not fair!” I push Zach away and run white paint over an elephant’s happy painted face on the wall.

And then Pete fast forwards.

I look exhausted but happy. I’m in the hospital and Zach’s bright, happy eyes smile at me. “Meet Emma” he says triumphantly and hands me a little bundle.

My eyes meet Emma’s and the world stops again. She has her father’s caring eyes, and that makes everything right in the world.

I become engrossed in this life; this was the life I was supposed to lead. Pete begins to move on to the next scene, I beg him to stop, to stay in this moment but he shakes his head, “Katie, you shouldn’t have opened Pandora’s box.”

Emma is older now, I can see her grabbing mail from the mailbox and running up the stairs to the house.

“Mom!” she scream, “I got accepted! I’m going to Stanford!”

Zach runs into the room and we all laugh as we jump up and down with joy.

Pete slightly fast-forward’s, not much. I can tell only a few months have passed.

I’m standing in Emma’s room, empty of everything that made it Emma’s room

Tears well into my eyes as Zach grabs me and pulls me close, “She’s only a few hours away, love. We can visit her anytime.”

Pete looks over at me and smiles. It isn’t a happy one; it’s more of a sympathetic smile. “Don’t ask again Pete, just keep going.”

Emma is now the one in the hospital. Zach and I are waiting impatiently in the waiting room. It didn’t feel like it took this long to meet Emma, why does this feel like forever?

Finally our son in law comes out, “They’re here! I’m a daddy to twins!”

We rush each other and give one another big hugs. There is so much whooping and laughing, I can’t tell who is doing what.

I step into the room and hold my granddaughter while Zach holds our grandson. “Meet Katie and Zach”, Emma says.

Those eyes again.

Pete fast forwards again, “we’re gonna wrap this up now.”

“No, Pete, please don’t fast forward.”

I’m lying on a comfortable bed now, my hair is grey, my skin is wrinkled. Zach sits by me, much older than the last time I saw him but his eyes give him away. Even in his old age, his eyes are happy and youthful. He begins to tear up and breaks my gaze.

“Katie, if I ever did one thing right in this life, it was marry you. The purpose of my life was to be your husband and Emma’s father. You can relax now, I’m not going anywhere. I love you more than I could ever express.”

My eyes close, everything goes black.

“Pete, I made one wrong decision. Let me go back and do it again. That life was supposed to be the one I led!”

“I can’t Katie. I’m sorry but you can’t change what has already happened, but I do want to show you this.” Pete swirls the clouds open again and I see Zach sitting at his desk. Even with the windows closed you can hear the cars driving past on the highway. The highway I was on when I died.

Zach is hunched over something that he is drawing and hears the sound of a crash. He gets up to look out the window and I look down at the picture.

It is a drawing of me. 

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Full version of the story is available here. If you took the time to read this, first off thank you! Secondly, I really hope you liked it.

"Drive"- Part I

I'm trying something a bit different today. One of the main reasons why I started this blog was to release some creative energy I had going on. I love to write, but I don't do it very often. Every once in a while I will write short stories or poems that are floating around in my brain. This post today is a story I've recently written. It's a bit long so I've broken it down into two separate posts, the first half I'll post today, the second half tomorrow. And the end of tomorrow's post I'll provide a link to the story so you can read it in one sitting, if that's how you prefer to read your stories. I know that half of a great reading experience is being able to read in comfort. Enjoy the story!

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"Drive"

My phone rings and I see Alyssa’s name pop up. A small groan escapes my lips, but I answer anyway. That’s what a good friend does right?

Alyssa speaks before I can even mutter a greeting, “Katie! I know it’s your day off and I know you said you really needed some “me” time, but I really need you to come with me today! Pleeeeaaaseee?”

The whine in Alyssa’s voice makes me sigh with resignation. She’s getting married in three months and has been on a rampage to check things off her list. “What do you need me to do?” I ask.

“Meet me up at the outlets; I think I found the perfect ties for the guys to wear for the big day. I’ll take you to lunch after, my treat!”

I tell her I’ll meet her in an hour and get out of bed to get dressed. I had really been looking forward to just spending the day relaxing. Work has been crazy and I just need some time to de-stress. I can feel myself getting slightly irritated at the idea of giving up more of my time for others. Why can’t I just say no?

“Stop it,” I tell myself, “You’re only doing this because you’re jealous.” I start to whine to myself in my head, why can’t I be selfish? I’m 32 years old and, as the saying goes, ‘always a bridesmaid, never a bride’. At this point I’d just be happy with finding one nice guy.

I walk out to the car, continuing the conversation in my head. “I’m a nice person,” I reason, “I have a ton of friends on Facebook. That has to count for something, right?” I stop, see my reflection in my car window and realize just how pathetic I sound to myself. Really Katie? A ton of friends on Facebook should equate to true love? I shake my head and get in the car.

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I’ve been on the road for about twenty minutes, it’s really cold outside and my car has finally heated up to the point that I can turn the heat down a bit. I turn up the volume on the radio, my favorite song is playing. Mileys voice drifts through the cabin of the car, “drive my heart into the night, you can drop the keys off in the morning”. Her haunting voice sends me into a daydream about Josh and my heart aches just a little.

Our last conversation was still fresh in my mind. He told me he loved me but that he couldn’t see us growing old together. A week later, he was already seeing someone new, and even made it “Facebook official”.

 There it was again, damn Facebook. I think I just need to deactivate it and back away, I think to myself, still daydreaming. Suddenly I am snapped back to reality as my car hits ice and I begin to slide.

Everthing begins to happen so fast and I can’t control anything. My car picks up speed even though I’m trying to hit the brakes, I see the concrete bridge approaching and there is nothing I can do. I try to prepare myself for impact, reminding myself that if I brace and tense up I could hurt myself more. I have hope, my life isn’t flashing before my eyes. This is a good sign right? I hear the sickening crunch of my car crumpling against the bridge, I feel nothing and everything goes black. Miley’s voice is the last thing I comprehend before everything is gone, “I thought you would be there when I go…”

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I awake to a warm, sunny day. I look around me and see clouds.

 Wait, what? Clouds? , I think to myself.

“Katie,” a voice behind me says. It’s so melodic that a wave of calmness passes through me. I turn and see a man in a white robe with long white hair and a beard. He appears to be holding a tablet of sorts with several names on it. My name is currently at the top of his list. Could this be Saint Peter?

“Am I in heaven?” I manage to get out.

“You catch on quite quickly! Most people assume they are dreaming or that someone is playing a trick on them since they swore they were going straight to hell,” the man replies.

“It’s a bit cliché, don’t you think?” I reply. “I mean really? Clouds, white robe, long, white hair? Of all the things people talk about when it comes to heaven, God and religion and they get this right?”

“It’s different to everyone. This just happens to be the heaven you think of. Thanks for that by the way. I can’t tell you how much I hate it when I have to give the news to someone who thinks of me as a cute little baby in diaper with wings. Cherubs have to be the most annoying thing out there.”

I chuckle at the idea of this man dressed up like a baby, then when the visual hits my head it makes me shudder. “So Pete, if I can call you that. What now?”

“What no begging, pleading, trying to convince me that it wasn’t your time? And Pete’s fine.”

“Would any of that help?”

“No.”

“Then why bother?”

“Good point, in answer to your question, ‘what now’ is up to you. It’s your heaven.”

I think about this. I always assumed when you went to heaven, all the questions you had in life would be answered, or it wouldn’t matter and you’d forget all about it but quite frankly, the questions of who killed Jon Benet and did OJ really do it still bugged me. I open my mouth to speak but Peter cuts me off, “You make it into heaven and that’s your first thought?”

“I guess not,” I say. “Okay, how’s this. Is life predetermined? Like when I was born, did God already know that I was going to die at 32, single with nothing but a wailing mother to remember me by?”

Peter looked past me into the distance; he scrunched his brow and pressed his fingers to his temple. “No one ever asks me this and I like it that way. Your life is not predetermined by any means. God knows what’s going to happen to you based on decisions you make. So it’s kinda like you have free will but he still knows. Please don’t ask me to explain it any further than that. It’s complicated.”

“So what you’re telling me Pete, is that if I had done what I wanted to do this morning and ignored Alyssa’s phone call, I would still be alive. There would be no “Final Destination”-like death spirit trying to kill me all day because this was my day to die.”

“Precisely,” was all Pete replied. He began to walk away, rather hastily. I yelled out, “Wait! Pete! Wait!” and he stopped and hung his head. He knew something and I was going to figure it out. Maybe there was a loophole?

“Pete, can you show me what my life would have been like if I hadn’t answered the phone? Please?”

Pete sighs, turns around and says, “Do you really want to know? Wouldn’t it be better to not know and then not have to be faced with the possibility that you didn’t lead the better life? I can make you forget all that. You can live up here blissfully unaware of life on Earth and rest your soul in heaven, like the rest of the folks up here.”

“I’m not like the ‘rest of the folks’ up here Pete. I want to know.”

Saint Peter sits down and swirls the clouds beneath him to open up the sky below. He motions for me to sit beside him. I see myself lying in bed, reading, just like I was the morning of my death. And so it began….again.

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