Hello...It's Me

Well look who decided to return from nowhere...
Last I left this blog, I had four weeks left of student teaching. So much has happened since then, it might be good to just do a "hey this has been my life for the past five months" post. 
So...let's start with the really big news. If you don't follow me on Instagram you might not know that I am expecting a little girl in June. Yay!

On October 13th, during my 6th week of student teaching I found out. It was a Tuesday, and right before I was set to teach my 10th period class (the toughest group of the bunch!) I was overwhelmingly nauseous so I had to have my cooperating teacher take over. Honestly, I just assumed it was nerves because this group was so tough but I was also a few days late. Dave and I had decided to put trying on the back burner while I student taught and just figured we'd let whatever happened happened. I truly didn't think that anything would come of it, considering our struggles. On my way to work that night I decided to stop at Target to pick up a test, figuring it'd be another negative and money wasted. I waited until I got home and then took the test and BOOM there it was a big fat "pregnant". To say that I was shocked is an understatement. 
I spent the next two months just trying to focus on finishing up student teaching and getting acclimated back to work. I'm not going to lie, I would often quiet any excitement or hope that bubbled up during that time since the last two ended up in miscarriages. But then I hit twelve weeks and finished out my first trimester, and then I felt her move at fifteen weeks, then I found out she was a she a day before twenty weeks, and now she's kicking the crap out of me at twenty five weeks and I've never known a joy so great. 

The last month of student teaching was rough but also rewarding. There were some students who fought me tooth and nail the entire time who finally started warming up to me and there were others that I had a great repertoire with who shut down on me. That's teenagers for you....
There's a lot that happened that last month, and I think it deserves a more detailed post later, but I will share my favorite moment. My supervising teacher insisted on showing up during 10th period, no matter how hard my cooperating teacher and I tried to convince him otherwise. The day before he was set to arrive, my cooperating teacher had a scheduled day off so it was me and a substitute teacher, and I gave my 10th period class a heads up that he'd be there the next day. Now to give you an idea of my 10th period kids, there were 21 of them, all academic (lower level), who loved to talk, distract each other, and try to push the boundaries as far as they possibly could. 
The next day, they all filed in quietly and sat down ready to go, something I've NEVER seen them do. One girl, who I had the most discipline issues with, came up to me with panic in her eyes and begged me to move her to a corner of the class where my supervisor wasn't in her direct line of sight because she didn't think she could stay off her phone long enough (seriously, these kids are literally addicted to their phones, you try to find a middle ground with them). The fact that this girl, who HATED me from the start cared enough to think about where she was sitting, whether or not he could see her, and being concerned about it meant so much. Besides two students, the class was so well behaved and so good, it was nothing short of a miracle. It still makes me smile to think about how they came through for me. 
Part of the reason I disappeared here was because the end of student teaching was so exhausting between wrapping up those responsibilities, working my regular job (even if it was part time), and growing my little one. Seriously, this kid knocked me out consistently at 6:30 every night, so I decided to take a break from writing. Then once student teaching was over, I realized I didn't have a whole heck of a lot to write about (still don't) so I just didn't write. Now the little voice in my head that wants to write is starting to squeak again so I figured okay let's just write when it feels right and leave it at that. 
That's my past few months in a nutshell, how about you? 

Student Teaching - Week 8

I'm pretty sure all outfits this week were on repeat so no outfit of the week. Instead, here's what I'd rather being wearing all week:

What I Did:
This week was all about the testing. The kids had a map test Tuesday and a unit test Thursday. The unit test was all material that I taught the kids exclusively so it was interesting to see how the kids fared (pretty good!). Other days were spent reviewing and playing games to prep them for the tests. 
Things I Learned:
These kids thrive on getting a reaction out of teachers. The best way to deal with them is not to show emotion. I had to really yell at one class on Monday and instead of getting the intended reaction they thought it was funny. They even told my teacher that getting me to raise my voice was the highlight of their day. I'm going to say it, don't judge me....jerks. 
Things I Still Need to Learn:
Not showing emotion. I usually wear my heart on my sleeve. I need to learn I can't do that. 
Memorable Moment of the Week:
Two students who used to be favorites of mine began dating a little bit ago. They're still good kids but since they're in the same class, I spend more time trying to get them to pay attention so it's hard to love them as much as I used to. Anyway, this week my teacher caught them passing notes during a test. When she grabbed the note, she was in for quite a surprise when it said that one of them wanted to *ahem* orally please the other. Awkward.....
Honest Thoughts:
8 weeks down, 4 to go. I feel so close, yet so far. Not gonna lie, I'm back to wanting this to be over with and wanting to be done with it. 

Student Teaching - Week 7

What I Wore:

Student Teaching Week 7 

Loft blouse / Old navy sweater / Banana Republic ankle jeans / New York & Company boot cut pants / MIA black ballet shoes, $57

What I Did:
I went into this week in a mild panic. It was a notes heavy week and I had tried to come up with alternatives for the students instead of note taking but my energy, brain capacity, enthusiasm, and lesson planning skills were just not up to par so I knew going into the week that not only would the kids  have to take notes three out of the five days but also that I didn't have enough filler to take care of the downtime. Luckily for me, my cooperating teacher is awesome and within ten minutes of me walking into the building, she had suggestions in place and I was ready to go. 
Things I Learned:
With the exception of the electives, I teach the lower academic students. That isn't to say they aren't smart, history just may not be their forte. Anyway, this week I learned that those students love word puzzles. I gave them cryptograms, crosswords, word searches, and word scrambles and they really took to them.
Memorable Moment of the Week:
An exceptionally difficult student who refuses to do any work yelled out "I love word searches" and then poured over it, being the first one to complete it. It's the first time I've seen her show any kind of enthusiasm for anything and it was nice to find something that she really took to.
Looking Forward To:
This week in general. It's a fairly easy week for me, Friday is a half day so I won't teach them. Tuesday and Thursday are a map test and a unit test, respectively and the other two days will be review games. The week usually flies by for me anyway, but I'm assuming this week will really go quickly.
Honest Thoughts:
I'm definitely enjoying myself much more now but I still can't wait for this to end. It's still very exhausting and time consuming. Plus, no matter how many lessons I create or days I head into school prepared, it still causes anxiety. It'll be nice to be done and actually rest (and sew!) for once.
Seven weeks down, five to go! The countdown is really on!

Student Teaching - Week 6

What I Wore:

A few things are similar but not exact since most of the things I own are a few years old.

student teaching week 6 

Gap short sleeve top / Banana republic top / Long slip / Express green pants / LOFT summer pants / Bloch pink flat / Ollio ballerina flat / LOFT post earrings / Loop scarf

What I Did:

This week was a bit of a nice break for me. Not only did we have Monday off for Columbus Day (thank you Mr. Columbus for getting lost!) but Wednesday was PSAT testing so I got to spend the majority of the day supervising students watching movies. It was such a light week, but definitely a much needed reprieve. 

Things I Still Need to Learn:

Alternatives to note taking. I attempted to create two different types of lessons for the coming week, which is note heavy and both just ended up bombing in my face. It doesn't help that I'm new to this and, honestly, there is a ton of pressure to do well. Maybe down the road, in a classroom of my own, I'll find a way to teach without lecturing/notes, but for student teaching its not going to happen.

Looking Forward To:

Teaching a new class. So far I've been teaching all three core History classes, which means the same lesson three times a day. This week, I'll begin teaching an elective course my teacher has, Myths and Legends. Considering Greek mythology is one of my favorite things in the world, I have so much to share!

Honest Thoughts:

It's still very stressful, especially today (I'm writing this Sunday). I've spent the past four hours trying to find fun activities to go with all the notes I'm cramming down these kids' throats and I came up empty handed. It's so frustrating and the thought of heading there stresses me out but then when I actually do show up, most of my worries melt away and my days fly by. It's a catch-22.
6 weeks down, 6 to go -- I am officially halfway through this!

Student Teaching - Week Five

What I "Wore":

Most of what you see here I own, a few things like the boots and flats are similar but not exact since the ones I own are a few years old. 

Student Teaching Week 5

Old Navy petite dress / American Eagle Outfitters sexy top / Banana Republic pink sweater / Banana Republic black pants / Madden girl boots / Mossimo black flat / Kate spade jewelry / FOSSIL brown belt

What I Did:

This was my first week of teaching my own lesson plans in my core history class for the entire week. It was exhausting, during the day I'd either be prepping for the lesson, teaching, or modifying the lesson to better meet the needs of the student. Then, I'd go home and make sure my lesson plan was set to go for the next day/write lesson plans for another day.
Things I Learned:

End of the school day by no means end of the work day. Most days I'm staying two hours after school lets out to finish up grading or prepping. Then, when I do eventually get home, I'm still working on school stuff. 

Things I Still Need to Learn:

Still working on that classroom management! It's the bane of my existence.

Memorable Moment of the Week:

I'm currently teaching the students about the industrial revolution, and Thursday I had half the class pretend they were working in a factory. One of the roles was a 9 year old factory worker who cried a lot. I asked one student in one of the classes that I knew would really run with it to play the kid in the factory. He was so hilarious but also very helpful in making the environment uncomfortable so the kids could get an idea what it would be like to work in the factory with a child. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants a few times.

Looking Forward To:

Right now, I'm looking forward to all this being over, its so tiring!

Honest Thoughts:

See above.

5 weeks down, 7 to go! Next week we will be halfway done....I'm so ready for normalcy again!

Student Teaching - Week Four

What I Wore:

Just a few key outfits....

Teaching Week 4 

The Limited mini top / LOFT scoop neck tank top / Merona purple cardigan / Express / Banana Republic pants / ZiGiny pointy toe flat shoes

What I Did:

Things week was a bit broken up, since sadly Dave's grandfather passed away and the funeral was Thursday.

The school I am at expects their students to write a five paragraph essay at the end of each unit. I think this is a great idea since it gets the students used to writing but it's also like pulling teeth with them. The first three days of my core classes we spent prepping the kids for the essay and then getting them written. Friday I taught my own lesson again with the core classes, although it was just notes.

Things I Learned:

"I don't know" doesn't necessarily mean "I don't know". Sometimes it means "I don't want to do this".

Kids who pay no attention to you whatsoever will suddenly be very concerned in your absence.

Things I Still Need to Learn:

Classroom management is still a tough one for me to conquer. This week it was learning how to gradually increase my threats to get them to be quiet instead of heading straight to the worst consequence.

Memorable Moment of the Week:

I got a chance to connect with some teachers over my Chicken and Rice Bake recipe when I brought some for lunch this week. They tried it and loved it so much, I ended up printing the recipe and sharing it with them!

Looking Forward To:

Having a day off next Monday. Seriously, I need a day of binge watching Netflix by myself.

Honest Thoughts:

I'm really starting to get into the nitty gritty of all this and it's tough for me. This past week I literally went to school, then went to my regular job for a bit and then came straight home to work on even more school work until I went to bed. They were long days and I'm definitely on autopilot right now to get myself through all this. I'm hoping that this week was rougher because not only did I have to come up with the lesson plans for the core class for the month but then I had to write some. Now hopefully for the next month all I'll need to do is write up the lessons and prep for them. We'll see!

4 weeks down, 8 to go!

Student Teaching- Week Three

I was so sick this week, but I hustled through. What I didn't do was take a picture of any of my outfits, so no outfit of the week picture. 
Memes I Love In Lieu of an Outfit for the Week:

What I Did:
This week I taught two of my own lessons, both turned out very well. The first one was an activity about Latin American liberators and the second was a review game for the test. 
I also started grading things this week, which is tougher than you think. The hardest thing to grade were the student's French Revolution storybooks because it's really subjective. I also had to write down what the grade levels would be for each score because at first I was grading them a little tougher than what I realized. 
Things I Learned:
Grading is hard. At times I spaced out from the sheer mass of words coming at me. Other times I'd get so frustrated at a capable student's complete lack of effort. My head literally hurt after grading a few storybooks. 
Things I Still Need to Learn:
Classroom management aka learning how to get them to shut it when I need them to. 
Memorable Moment of the Week:
I had a student who wants to do good but really struggles with his work reach out to me to help him study for the test. We went over everything together and I showed him what he needed to study. When he came in for the test on Friday, he NAILED it. I am so so so proud of him. 
Looking Forward To:
Surviving another week!
Honest Thoughts:
I'm still on the fence about whether or not this is the right career track for me, but the good news is that both my cooperating teacher and my supervising teacher think I do a great job in front of the classroom. I love most of the kids but there's so much more to teaching than just the kids and there is so much in my life that is still waiting to happen (like kids hopefully) that I'm not sure I can devote my entire life (which is pretty much what it's going to require at first) to it right now. Who knows, maybe over the next few weeks I'll keep swaying towards teaching considering when I first started doing this I was completely against the idea. 
3 weeks down, 9 to go! We are officially in the single digits!

Student Teaching - Week Two

I'm not going to lie, this week was a rough one for me, but I'm thankful for it. It's better to deal with the tough stuff now so that I don't go into teaching thinking it's all sunshine, rainbows, and cupcakes.
Favorite Outfit of the Week:

Shirt: Loft (old, similiar) Pants: Victoria's Secret (old, similar) Shoes: Zigi Soho Tilly Flats
What I Did:
Experienced a few run ins with some students, one who was trying to get attention while I was attempting to teach and another who was not happy with my attempts to separate her and her friend during a half day school wide project. 
Broke down after said student yelled in my face and contemplated giving up. 
Taught a few more times and thought up a review game to play next week.
One of the lessons I taught (which was a plan the teacher thought up), that is an absolute favorite of mine, the students had to create a "museum exhibit" out of play-doh and create a title card that had a brief description of the exhibit. 

Things I Learned:
Apparently Victoria's Secret stopped selling their suiting clothes (like pants) over a year ago. I used to only wear their pants exclusively but I hadn't bought a new pair from them in years and I only found out now when I was trying to find the pants that I was wearing in this picture. Slightly saddened since their pants always looked good on, but not so much since it's been a while since I actually purchased anything from them. 
Starbucks is slowly becoming my new best friend, since this is exhausting, especially coupled with the fact that I'm still working too. I nearly fell asleep on my way to work on Tuesday and had to grab a frapuccino to wake myself up to work in the evening and then again on my way to seminar on Wednesday. Considering I fell asleep standing up while talking to Dave Thursday night, my usual "I don't need caffeine to make it through the day" mantra might have to go out the window during the next 10 weeks.
If you know what you're doing, writing lesson plans aren't that bad.
Play-doh is awesome at any age, even high school. 
Things I Still Need to Learn:
So I'm better on the monotone aspect of my teaching but my speed is not good, I go too fast. So now I need to find the happy medium.
Memorable Moment of the Week:
During Friday's half day "Tech Day" I got to work with a small group of students and participate in the projects with them. It really gave me a chance to work more one on one with some of my regular students that I haven't had a chance to really interact with yet and I had so much fun with them. One of the projects the students had to do was come up with a six word memoir. At first they didn't want to do it at all until I came up with some for them and then they ran with it coming up with several more. It was so satisfying to see them really get involved because of my efforts.
Looking Forward To:
Teaching the review game that I came up with on Thursday. If it's a success I'll share it here!
Honest Thoughts:
I'm not going to lie, there were several moments this week where I was seriously close to giving up, I mean I was literally thisclose. It was a rough week but I'm sticking with it, even if I end up hating this, I've worked too hard and come too far to not see it through. I need to look back on this time, regardless of it's outcome, and know that I didn't give up.
2 weeks down, 10 to go!  

Student Teaching - Week One

You know those "Currently" posts that float around? I thought I'd borrow that idea and share tidbits for each week that I'm student teaching.  Favorite Outfit of the Week:

Please ignore the grainy picture, this was taken 6 am with my cell phone, since I have no other time to do this.

Cardigan: Banana Republic (out of stock) Top: Loft  Pants: Loft Flats: Gap Earrings: Kate Spade Necklace: Charlotte Russe (old)
What I Did:
This week was all about acclimating myself to the classroom and the students. I spent the first two days really trying to learn the student's names. By the third day, I was starting to get the hang of most of their names but I still needed the attendance sheet to remind me of the names of the students in each class. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that I've learned their names as quickly as I have. It took me a few months to learn my Teen Book Club teens names confidently and it only took me three days here.
Things I Learned:
Speaking of names, I never realized how important it was to the students for me to know their name until I started to learn them. The ones who I did remember quickly lit up when I spoke their name. The ones who names it took me a little longer to learn seemed exasperated with me. Learning their names helped me build a rapport with them and it's insane how far I've gotten in building a relationship with each of them just by learning their name.
Also, some kids know how to impress. I had two boys shake my hand when I introduced myself the first day. Their actions left such a distinct mark in my mind, I remembered their names instantly. 

Things I Still Need to Learn:
Using a decent inside voice when I'm at home or work. I'm so used to hearing loud voices all day or projecting my own voice that I find myself speaking loudly when I'm in quieter settings. It's going to be an adjustment switching between the chaos of the class to the quiet of home/work (side irony note here, I used to think work was loud...).
I taught a few lessons Friday and apparently I have a very monotone voice. I tried to fix it after the first lesson I taught and ended up only talking louder not with more inflection. This is definitely something I need to work on. 
Memorable Moment of the Week: My first day I remembered the name of one girl in particular very quickly. When I approached her for the second time of the day and called her by her name her eyes widened and she had this look of surprise on her face. She said to me, "you know my name?" and seemed genuinely shocked that I would remember her so quickly. The look on her face absolutely melted my heart and made the entire exhausting, chaotic day worthwhile. It reminded me why I worked so hard to get to this point. 
Looking Forward To:
Teaching a few more classes...hopefully learning how not to talk in a monotone voice?
Honest Thoughts:
Before starting this, I was terrified. Enough so that I thought I might have been making a big mistake and that this might not be for me. At the end of my first day I was still wavering. By the end of my second day, I realized that I might actually really enjoy myself and learn a lot from this experience and that it's okay to wonder. 

Currently

I haven't done one of these posts in a while and I thought it'd be fun to do one and see where I stand right now. This semester with school I feel a bit overwhelmed (if you haven't noticed by my inconsistent posting) and it's a good reminder for myself of what I'm doing. 

Watching: I'm finishing up Breaking Bad now on Netflix, right now I'm at the end of season 4. I also started watching Sherlock and Finding Carter. I had a day off recently and literally watched the entire first season of Finding Carter in one day. 

Reading: Allegiant and I'll be honest it's taking me a while to trough through this book. I normally would stop reading books that don't motivate me to read by now but I feel like I need to finish this series out. I've got about 150 pages left so I'm in the homestretch. Next up, Hausfrau which a friend lent to me. 

Listening: Speaking of Finding Carter, I'm constantly listening to the theme song, Vagabond by Misterwives on repeat. I'm also still listening to podcasts, and the storytelling ones like Risk are still my favorite.

Making: Still making my bears and quilts but I also decided to try my hand at rompers. I have all the fabric to start one, we shall see how it turns out!

Feeling: Accomplished. I spent my entire day Sunday researching and writing my final paper for one of my classes. I also put a huge dent in a final project for a class so now I only have two small assignments to complete and then I'm home free for this semester. 

Planning: My next vacation. I'm trying to convince Dave to take a quick weekend trip to Ohio (it's only a 6 hour drive!). I'm also planning my 30th birthday party which is a lip sync battle against my friends and I. It's going to be so much fun!

What are you currently doing?