A Public Service Plea

A few friends and I are trying to plan a day in December to hang out and create ornaments together. In preparation for the day, we decided to check out Pinterest for DIY ornaments. The amount of projects that involved destroying perfectly good books almost set me off the deep end. 

The idea of someone destroying a perfectly good book, rendering the book completely useless for not only it's intended creation but also for any future use as well is one of my worst nightmares. I mean come on, think about all the DIY projects you created. How many of those projects do you still use or have on display? 

This is my public service plea: Please stop destroying books and calling it DIY. If you have books lying around that you don't want to use, donate them to your local library. If there is a craft that you absolutely have to do that involves paper, use newspaper. For every book you destroy, that's one less story someone else can escape to. 

P.S. This wreath is hideous. It's also a fire hazard. 

Things I Find Irksome

Things Nibbler finds irksome? Having his picture taken.

Inspired by Steph over at Life According to Steph, things that I currently find irksome:

 Slow drivers in the left hand lane. That lane, friend, is for passing. If you aren't passing get over so I can pass you! I firmly believe slow left hand laners (and ignorant people around merging lanes) are the biggest reason for traffic. Get out of the way!

Having a nose that is so stuffed you feel like you're suffocating when you eat/brush teeth/close your mouth. Damn you stubborn snot!

 Kim Kardashian. Hasn't her 15 minutes finished up yet?

 Kim Kardashian's ass. It's big, I get it. Her waist/ass are also photo-shopped to oblivion, why are we oohing and aahing over it? 

Mean girls. Isn't it more work to be mean than it is to be nice or at least keep it to yourself? I know girls who literally have a roundtable of who they currently don't like. When they get bored not liking one girl they move on to the next, and the vicious cycle continues. Why?  

People who drive on the highway/bypass with their high beams on. Hey jerks, you're still blinding the people on the other side of the road. Why do you have them on, you're on a highway not a back road!

McDonald's breakfast burritos. Those things are so darn good when they're cooked right, but so bad when they aren't. The chances of getting a good burrito? 25%, and yet I still get them in hopes of getting the good ones. Why can't they be delicious every time? 

The battery life on my iPhone. Dead in a few hours, when I plug it in (and wait for it to turn on again) suddenly I have 60% battery life. What gives?!?

What are some things you find irksome?

Grumble Grumble Grumble

Have you ever watched The Simpson's episode where Sideshow Bob kept running into the rakes and making that grumbling sound? If I could find a way to phonetically title this post that, I would because it is the perfect description of how I feel about a recent conversation I had with a family member. Since I can't quite find the right letters for that, I'm settling for the Grumble times three, cause in real life that's what I'd end up doing anyway. I'm bad at impersonations. 

Anyway, we were talking about a recent breakup of another family member that had gotten messy. I really had to watch what I said, since this person was very close and very loyal to the other relative. She's also got a bad temper and I like my face. 

When we got near the end of the conversation, she blurts out, "We think he's gay anyway. It's the only explanation we can come up with for doing all this."

I knew I had to tread lightly, so I responded with an innocent, "That seems a bit odd, why would you guys think that? He seemed straight to me and they've been together much longer than it would take to notice." 

She responded with, "He was really clean and tidy. Like beyond a normal guy clean."

Wait, what? 

I respond, "That doesn't' make sense. So and so was very neat and tidy and was always cleaning up the house."

"Yeah but this went beyond it, he was too clean to be a straight guy."

"Oh, that clears it up, I didn't realize that in order to be gay you had to be super clean." 

"Exactly. [editor's note: I was being sarcastic, but this person apparently did not pick up on that] But if he tried to get her back, she would take him back, but only if he apologized."

"But I thought you guys said he was gay?"

This absolutely ridiculous conversation led me to the following conclusions:

1. My relatives in question are freaking morons. I still love them, but they're idiots.

2. Collectively, we need to learn that bringing down the other party to make ourselves feel better will not, in the long run, actually make us feel better. In fact, it is us that will look like fools, not them. 

3. If you're going to assume something bad about someone to make yourself feel better, try to come up with something better than how well someone cleans. May I suggest something like whether or not they drink diet soda? Cause if your man is drinking diet soda, he's probably gay. I googled it and got one hit, so it has to be true.  

4. Just because a man breaks up with you doesn't mean he's gay. It's insulting to him, the gay community, and your intelligence. Stop it. 

5. I need to begin to document every time Dave cleans up to ensure that he does not go above the appropriate amount that heterosexual men clean. If he gets to the point where he is too "tidy" I will have to hire him as a cleaning lady and find a man for him who does not have better cheekbones than me. I'll be damned if I have to contour my face every freaking day just to top out that queen. 

End rant.